selfish.

Have you ever just gotten smacked right in the face (or heart) with truth? Like God said, "And then <insert your name here> remembered this!" Well, this happens to me what feels like super frequently. Whether it be over my health or the way I'm treating others, God is constantly reminding me of what I should be doing and how he wants me to live.

Honestly, 90% of the time I'm so, so grateful for this, and the other 10% of the time I just mutter to myself something along the lines of "...but do I really have to??" It can become quite comical when I decide that I don't want to do something that God has clearly called me to do. Long story short, God always wins. I always end up feeling convicted and, eventually, do what he has asked of me.

Living life with God has taught me so much. Truthfully, I have learned more about myself than anything. I have come to realize that I am broken, and that is okay. So often I find myself trying to mask my faults with something a bit more acceptable, and that has been one of those "Hey Whitney, remember this!" things quite a bit lately. 

So, here I am admitting that I am sinner -- admitting that I am selfish in wanting to do things of this world rather than standing in awe of my Savior and accepting the challenges he gives me. 

Here's a song that has shown me it is okay to be completely broken because we have a God that can make anything beautiful: Brokenness Aside by All Sons and Daughters. 

Happy Sunday, friends!

Whitney

weak.

I am a prisoner of my own thoughts.

My actions and my words reflect this truth.

I believe myself to be inadequate more than not. I am unkind. I say hurtful things to those I love most. I am a lover of worldly things. I let myself become obsessed with the newest and greatest gadgets, clothes, and Instagram posts. I am anxious. I allow life to have a hold on my every move.

While I see that these things are not of the Lord, I have become a slave to them.

I am weak.

In saying all of this, the fact that I am able to recognize these thoughts as sin shows that Christ is in me. He is in my corner, fighting for me. 

I am thankful for the Lord's little (and sometimes very big) ways of keeping us on the track to fighting the good fight--for reminding us that He is our only source of strength.

redemption.

Today, more so than any other day, the Lord has been teaching me a ton about what it means to be redeemed. He has brought me from such a low, low place in my life to where I am now. Often, I lose sight of how far I have come--I still think of myself as the girl who would do anything just to fit in, just to feel loved. I, typically, feel that staying in my hometown through my forming a real relationship with Christ has hindered ministry for me--like I have who I once was just hanging over my head around anyone and everyone I went to high school with; however, through Him speaking to me, I am proud of the woman he is forming me to be. I have realized that while not everyone may believe that people change; I am living proof that God can change anyone willing to accept him. I have pride in my Jesus and what he has done in my life, and I should never be ashamed of who I once was--it has lead me to who I am.

Praise God for redemption!



grace.

Can I ask something? I mean of course I can, but may I ask something that may force you to rethink your everyday life/thoughts? Since when did it become okay for believers to bash other people because they are different?

This has been hurting my heart for a while now, and quite frankly, I just need a good vent. We, as servants of Christ, are called to a higher standard. We are called to love like Jesus would, not point out how black our President is, how fat someone is, how annoying someone is; chances are, people who are different ethnicities know that they're not white, people who are "fat" struggle with that reality daily, and "annoying" people are searching for love. They know these things. We should not hate or scoff at people because they are different--more than just hurting our Father, it's just rude and hurtful. We are called to pour out grace, as Christ daily does for us. Do I slip up? ABSOLUTELY! But do I know that I have messed up the second I do something stupid? Definitely.

That all being said, I want to challenge you, friends. I challenge you to love others as Christ loves you. I challenge you to hold each other accountable when slip ups happen. This challenge is for you and I. Let's love in such a way that people can't deny that they are seeing Jesus in us.

revelation.

For a while now, I have been in what I like to call "The Ultimate Funk." This season God has me going through has been long, trying, and downright draining (mentally and physically). I would love to say that this season is finally coming to a close, but I have no idea what God has up his sleeve. And honestly, I cannot say that I am ready for it to end. Crazy, right? Last week, I would have agreed without another thought, but after many events that happened this weekend, I am proud to say that this season has made me stronger, humble, more understanding, and better at just loving. I will try to explain to the best of my ability how deeply this season of life has affected me:

For as long as I can remember, I have been self-conscious. I have been known to literally torture myself to feel like I am good enough, pretty enough, funny enough, smart enough, etc. All this to say, I just realized that I have been bitter, cold, and shut off to the world. God brought this to my attention over the weekend. This is not to say that I never realized that I had become increasingly closed off, but this revelation I had was unreal. God said to me, "Whitney, look at everything around you. The life you have is good. The friends I have led you to are wonderful. The body you are in is beautiful. You are just as I envisioned. Please love my vision." Seriously. As I pondered these things God was whispering to me, I saw just how reckless I have been with this crazy beautiful life he has provided for me. I have been so down on myself, wishing I had friendships with my friends that they have with others, pleading for a life that never wants for money, dying for the body that every woman wishes to have, crying for a community that never waivers, and I could keep 'em coming. But God has taught me something. God has taught me that each friendship is different for a very specific reason--that's okay, money will come and go--it will never help you become more Christ-like, a perfect body won't fix anything--if anything, it'll become an idol, a community that never waivers would be just plain boring--what is this life without struggles?

God has a funny way of giving us all exactly what we need and revealing his secrets for our lives as slowly as he really needs to. I am thankful that he keeps things a mystery from me--only revealing things as I seek them or desperately need them. Slowly but surely, I am recovering from the punishment I have been putting myself through. God is showing me just what it means to love and be loved unconditionally. I have always felt love from God, but I had still been feeling the need to show myself to him. He is breaking those walls down, and as I watch them crumble around me, I am grateful. I am grateful that I have a God who is patient, kind, gentle, loving, and so much more. I am grateful that I have a God who wants to pursue me as much as he wants me to pursue him.

So, here I stand (or sit behind a computer), rejoicing in the fact that God has not and never will give up on me. (and rejoicing just as much in the fact that he has softened my heart to those I have previously felt like giving up on)

Life may not always be wonderful, but I will always have a wonderful life. Happy Tuesday, friends!

xo Whitney

comfortable.

Can I be honest? Life lately has become something that I just do. Does that make sense? I'm not really living it. I'm not really loving it. I'm just doing it--waiting for the best big thing to come along. The worst part about my life lately? I am completely overlooking all of the great things happening right now.

I am so wrapped up in this whole "You're not really living until you finish school."..."You're not really living until you buy a house."..."You're not really living until you have a baby."..."You're not really living until you look like this."..."You're not really living until you <insert literally anything here>." Have you ever been there?? Not fun. I find myself so often wishing my life away just searching for more, all while missing what God has for me in this moment.

All this to say, being comfortable is not always a bad thing. Sometimes God calls us to lead a comfortable life at different points in our lives, and that is not anything to become apathetic over. So, all you prayer warriors out there, help a girl out?? Pray for me to keep my eye on the prize (Jesus) and not become apathetic to where he has me in this moment?? Ya'll are awesome.

Happy Tuesday, friends!

xoxo Whitney

thanks.

Y'all, this last week has been rough for me. I use the term rough loosely describing my week. God has shown me a ton. He has broken me of many things--or rather broken me of accepting many worldly things I shouldn't; he has been my motivation to get my rear in gear and head to the gym--even though I am devastatingly terrified of the guys in the weight room (Seriously, I act like they have the plague.); he has shown me great love through one of my very best friends; and he has shown me that while one of my newest friends is moving across the country, we will maintain a very real friendship. So, basically, this week has been great, and I am focusing on the rough patches that life has thrown at me--which is exactly why I felt the need to do a post giving thanks to God for this week. 

This week, I have been thankful for:

Great friends who love the Lord with everything in them.

Music that makes my heart oh-so happy. (Judah and the Lion!)

A body that continues to amaze me with strength.

This cutie.

Happy Sunday, friends!

xo Whitney

  

year two.

As of June 16th, B and I have been married for two years. Out first year was definitely a roller coaster, which made it a wonderful learning experience. Upon looking back, I've totally changed to be a better wife for Brandon, but I never realized how much I neglected friendships. This has been on my mind SO much lately--I have been horrible at keeping up with my closest friends (and family). I have literally been so consumed with school, work, and being a wife that I didn't give being a friend a second thought... How terrible is that?!

Luckily, God has shown this to me through various dreams and realizations while talking to him. So, my goal for year two is to balance out the two. Be a great wife AND be a great friend to the people who literally keep me sane (and know my heart and love me well and the list goes on and on).

Hope everyone's having a great Friday!
xoxo Whitney

unknown.

Well, we are staying in Tennessee. The deciding factor, to me, is laughable; however, in the end, we are where God wants us. He called us to be bold, and we were. Really, that's all God wants from us: to do just what he puts on our hearts and not question it. I will not fear our future. I will not be angry that Colorado is not where God wants us to be. I will be at peace because I know that he has plans way better than we can even begin to comprehend. As long as we are abiding, we are great.

Let's have an awesome Monday, friends.

xoxo Whitney

life lately.

After coming back from Colorado, Brandon and I have both been in a, for lack of a better word, funk. We were really branching out and seriously living for God by going and exploring, having real conversation, and just knowing that without a doubt God placed us there for a very specific reason. Since we've been back, the waiting and anticipating news of whether or not we will be residing there has drawn us into a sort of stand still with life here in Tennessee. I realized this the day after we got back, and I have been praying and praying for either a sign or something that would just help me live without anticipation or even anxiety. Well, friends, Bob Goff has my back. I got on twitter and saw this gem:

Love Does  @lovedoes No one grows up hoping someday they'll be typical. Get back to leading that inexplicable life you were aiming for.@lovedoes   09:14 AM - 07 Jun 13

Seriously?! It may not strike everyone the way it has me, but I totally got a ton out of this little tweet. I read it, and said to myself, 'Why am I putting my life on hold?' For fear of the unknown!! I'm scared of investing too much of myself in any certain area because "I may leave" or "I may stay". Seeing this has been, by far, one of the best things to happen to me this week. It may seem so small, but this is so big for me. God knows us, guys, and he is so good at reaching us if we just ask for help. 

It is a happy Friday, indeed!

xoxo Whit  

i choose jesus.

Y'all, the last two weeks have been insane! I am officially allowed to say Brandon applied for a job doing ministry with Young Life in Colorado. I had prayed and prayed for boldness for both of us--God calls some to stay and he calls some to leave and spread his great news (and I have felt called to leave for a long while now). So, anyways, He reached us. With this boldness, we decided that God was definitely calling us to do greater things--to leave, or at least to be bold enough to. And, long story short, we found ourselves flying out to Colorado Springs for an interview last Thursday.

Guys, this was like a dream to me. Every person (the regional director, area director, committee members, wives, husbands, etc.) we met just had this love for God that could not be mistaken, you could feel the desperate need for God in those high school and middle school kids' lives, and you could feel His hand in every situation we were placed in. It didn't take long for us feel our hearts being tugged for those kids. Hearing some stories, I want to show those kids Jesus--my heart literally yearns for it. I can't tell you the exact moment it happened, but everything suddenly went from 'Oh, this place is beautiful... I HAVE to live here!!' to 'I choose Jesus. I choose to show Him to everyone he wants me to. I yearn to be exactly where he chooses.' My heart literally hasn't stopped breaking for those kids since we heard stories of their lives. How crazy is that?!

While we're still not certain as to whether or not Brandon has the job, I am still so excited for those kids to meet Jesus--to know that they are loved so deeply that it's uncomprehendable. My heart wants this move. Brandon's heart wants this move. It's literally all up to God now (not that it wasn't before). It's extremely comforting knowing that we have done exactly what we feel God has called us to do, and now, we have to wait to see where he is leading us next. The mystery of my life is certainly bittersweet, but I am so thankful it has been mapped out by Christ, not by me. He's seriously awesome all of the time.

prayer.

Have you ever felt like you are at a dead stand still in life? Well let me tell you, I felt like that all day every day last week. It got pretty serious. I had no idea what to pray about or for--my mind was exhausted trying to think of something, anything; I ultimately found myself trying to do some sort of reverse psychology on God while I was praying. (Yes, you read that right.) I was trying to convince Him that I don't need change, I'm fine doing exactly what I'm doing, which, if you know me at all, is SO far from what my heart desires.

Then, while I was sitting in club at Work Week it hit me square in the nose: tell God what you want--don't dance around it. At first, I was like 'Oh, come on. God already knows what I want, what my heart desires. I don't HAVE to tell him--he just knows.' Then, my thoughts bolted to the complete opposite, and I was like, 'Holy cow! This guy actually knows a thing or two!' I thought it was pretty interesting, and I like to think God got a kick out of David saying exactly what I and Brandon both needed to hear. 

The thing is, God DOES know what we desire, he knows our hearts inside and out, but we have to accept the things he offers every single day, which includes just talking with him. It's still so crazy to me that I can have a conversation with God. I, often, get so caught up in the 'Hey, it'd be awesome if you could do this for so and so.' and 'Thanks for being awesome.' I forget to say, 'Hey, what do you need me to do? Where do you want me? Who will help those kids meet you?' It's so intimidating for me to ask him a question that won't give me a definitive "yes" or "no", and those questions can be so important in our lives! 

Basically, in all of this rambling, I'm saying that I was reminded not to just talk at God but to talk with him. He always answers.

God's good, ya'll!!

Happy Friday, friends!

Whitney

thankful.

Holy cow do I have so much I am thankful for!!!! This month has been full of surprises for me and B. So, here I go:

I have a wonderful job with some awesome co-workers.

I made a 97 on my Chemistry final.

We are going to Windy Gap for work week next week!!!

Colorado (or Rolocado, as we like to call it) is a possibility for our family :D

I, seriously, have some major love for my friends. They each just know my heart so well, yet so differently at the same time.

God is faithful. 

Ya'll, what's not to be thankful for?! I have an awesome God mapping out this crazy life, and, for lack of a better phrase, He knows what's up. I am beyond blessed.

So, there ya have it! Finals week is OVER! 

Happy Wednesday, friends!

long time, no blog.

So much has been happening for the us lately--I don't even know where to begin. God has been moving in me. I am (obviously) not sure what He has in store, but I feel something great coming along. I am softening my heart to those I never thought I could, I am leaning on Him for finances, and I just downright feel something truly awesome coming our way. I have peace, and knowing that peace comes straight from His word is wonderful.

"...we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." Romans 5:3-5

This has been sticking with me lately. For me, I just take it as a reminder that storms are an inevitable part of life, but God makes the outcome of those storms so unreal. B and I have had our fair share of storms in the time that we've been married (who doesn't, right?), and God never fails to bring us out on top. I have nothing but praises for my life and where I am at. 

Speaking of where I am... We are not quite sure where God is calling us at this point. Could you pray for us? Could you pray that we look to God for discernment on what our next step will be and not get wrapped up in worldly matters? 

Thanks, guys!

It is a happy Friday, indeed!

Whitney

fallen.

Well, it looks like I have fallen out of the blogosphere. No worries, I'm making a comeback. This week has been a mega roller coaster: I have been ecstatic, short-tempered, happy-go-lucky, and impatient literally all at the same time; my heart has been broken; and my life has been changed. In saying all of this, God has proven himself mighty (SO mighty). He has shown me that I have become cold and tend to scoff at "unreasonable" things before any explanation. He has also, thankfully, shown me that with Him I have grace for others. (PRAISE GOD!)

He has been putting me through this storm to make me stronger, a better wife, a better friend, and a better mother (one day... :)) I am here to say that I love the storms God puts in my life, not because I'm some crazy, masochistic lady but because He never ever fails to reveal something to me, which 99.9% of the time altars my life for the better. I am a better follower of Christ because of the tests He put before me. He teaches me when I need to be taught. He gives me tough love when I need it. He loves me gently when I am breaking. He just knows what to do and when to do it. And because of that, my life will never be anything less than miraculous.

Seriously, ya'll. How awesome is God?

Happy Friday, friends!

Whitney

thankful.

This week I am thankful for:

The family I married into

New friends (who want to move to Colorado just like us!!)

Quilting

Beautiful snow that doesn't stick (and looks like a snow globe!)

Community

Happy Wednesday, friends! I hope it's a good one!

Whitney

spring break | thankful.

I think Spring Break is a gift sent straight from God himself. I have needed this break for about 3 weeks, and I am not taking it for granted at all. My mind needed time to process everything going on around me--I have been stuck in a mindset of 'Why am I doing what I'm doing? What is the purpose?' This break has cleared up those thoughts, and I finally feel free of stupid negativity and questions about what I'm doing with my life. THANK JESUS :)

I don't have pictures, but here's what I've been thankful for this week:

An awesome birthday

Legs to run

Sunshine

Homemade gummy bears

Family 

Since I didn't have pictures, I'll leave you with this. Judah & the Lion will make your ears so happy!

Happy Friday, friends!

Whitney

healing.

I am in what I call an "odd" season of life. It feels as if direction is non-existant and like I am stuck in a perma-rut, BUT God is slowly revealing that this "stuck-in-a-rut, odd" season is actually a season of healing. I have so many wounds left opened and unattended that I, honestly, just assumed would fade away. Well, friends, He is showing me to cope with those aches and pains of life; more importantly, He is showing me that I am not meant to cope with them on my own. He is my strength and my song. He is my reason to rejoice. Without Him, I would not have the ability to communicate or recognize my struggles.

In saying all of this, changes are coming in by the dozen in our lives this week. Ordinarily, I would crack under all of the pressure, but my God has provided me with a peace. Changing my major as a Junior? He's got it. B trying to snag a job? God's in control. Old friends leaving and new friendships blooming? He knows exactly what He is doing.

Sorry for the choppiness of this post! I may or may not have saved this and come back to it about a million times :)

Until next time dear ones,
Whitney

thankful.

This week I have been thankful for...

Birthday Week surprises!

A happy pup.

Sweet table purchases.

Hands to craft.

And Christ-like ladies who bless me with friendship sure to last a lifetime.

This week has been the best in a long while. God has given me eyes to see past trivial, worldly things and ears to hear the littlest things.

Happy Thursday, friends!

not alone.

Lately, I have been realizing that nothing I do has ever been on my own. Jesus is always there, and he provides wonderful friends who are going through similar situations. We really are never alone. He has been teaching me so much about what that means, as well.

Any other day, I would be down on myself for not really knowing if I want to continue my major or even continue studying at Tech, but today is different--today I put aside all of my wants for myself and left everything up to God. Do I have an answer yet? No, but I put all of my faith in Him. I wasn't afraid to ask Him a question that doesn't have a definite yes or no answer. My head is literally in a million different places with what I could do; it goes something like this: Housing and Design... Eh... Stop going to Tech... No... Interdisciplinary Studies?? Maybe... Go back to Elementary Ed?? So much longer in school! By the end of all of that, I get so overwhelmed. Just typing it made me nervous, so I'm not dealing with it anymore... at least not until Jesus says it is time to make a decision.

Also, I have been challenged to not go into a "hole of isolation", which I do so easily. I withdraw myself from life more than I would like to admit. So after a conversation Saturday, I have been making it a point to put myself out there, and you know what?? I have discovered that I have multiple friends who are just like me--they just need someone to encourage them, I have a wonderful community of believers surrounding me, school isn't the most important thing in life, and friendships can begin at any time, anywhere.

God is working in me. I can feel it. I feel something huge happening soon. I just can't put my finger on it just yet.

Happy (rainy) Tuesday, friends!

I hope you feel God working in your lives.

Weekend Fun!

This weekend has been crazy, but I am back with lots of fun things to tell! 

First and most important: THIS GIRL GOT ENGAGED! And I could not be more excited for their future.

This is Liz, and she is a God-sent in my life. She is truly a woman after my own heart.

Aside from that, Brandon has gotten word about job openings and potential job openings in Cookeville and Nashville!! My heart is so happy with that news! Our friends do so much for us already, let alone putting the word out about him needing a job in PR/Marketing. God has truly blessed us with some awesome friends.

Things just feel like they're coming together for us. At church this morning, Steve said, "God would never put a storm in your life if it wasn't going to help you later." Once those words were spoken, I knew he meant them for Brandon and I. We went through a storm, we may even still be going through one, but I can see the light--I can see how beneficial it is to our relationship.

All of these things make for a wonderful weekend!

Happy Sunday, friends!

thankful.

Giving thanks is something I feel that I do often, yet I know that I never do it often enough. I'm thinking it's time to make it a point to write what I have been thankful for during the week. This way, I know that I'll be paying closer attention to the things surrounding me. I'm not thinking anything too cheesy like "Thankful Thursdays", but hey, that's looking like where it's going to be falling every week. So, here we go!

This week, I am thankful for:

Sweet and funny moments like this.

For The Corner Coffeehouse and the conversation with sweet friends it brings.

I am certain I can think of a dozen others, but I will chalk up this short list to the fact that I just decided to post this on a whim. Happy Thursday, friends!

day 4 & a few introductions

Yesterday came with much joy and many tears. God finally broke us of our self-reliance. Brandon applied for multiple jobs in different parts of the country--something he has been avoiding for the past few months. That was an exciting thing. Tears came when we stood before each other broken. That sounds awful, right? Well, make no mistake because it was. Satan kept trying to creep in and disrupt our healing and forgiveness of each other, which is highly inconvenient in any situation. Last night was, without a doubt, the hardest and best night of our married lives. We had so many "come to Jesus" moments that ultimately resulted in us agreeing that no marriage can amount to anything if Christ isn't put first. It was a good thing.

Today, the challenge is still (and will continue to be) about encouragement and praise. I am to support him in his work, whatever he may be doing. He really is such a hard worker, regardless of whether he is at work or home. So, this one hasn't be too trying. PLUS, he started a book that I had been nagging asking him to read for the past 6 months. He's gotten tons of praise for that one!

Aside from the challenge, I have been inspired to introduce a few people (and a puppy). So, here we go!

This is Brandon aka husband, BB, & B.

There he is, friends. The man God made for me.

Meet Charlotte Louise aka Charlie.

Best. Puppy. Ever.

Seriously, guys. She was nearly potty-trained when we got her, and she has only chewed one thing that she wasn't supposed to (our tv remote).

Every so often, I will post a few more of the amazing people in my life. 

Until next time,

xoxo
Whit

day 3

This challenge had already shown such an improvement on our marriage. Prayer always works; by me praising and encouraging B, he has also amped up his encouragement towards me; and, he also said, "Today, we were better at being one." Those words could not have come about at a better time. I am so thankful that I stumbled upon this 30 Day Challenge.

Here's what Day 3 holds:

Love suffers long and is kind. 1 Corinthians 13:4

And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19

Today is all about lifting Brandon up--praising him for all that he does and praising God for providing me with such a wonderful, kind, Christ-like man. At the end of the challenge for today it says, 'Ultimately, you can't expect your husband to make you feel more secure, loved, etc. Remember that only God can meet the deepest needs of your heart.' Seriously, this is something that I know I forget so easily, and it effects our marriage a ton. B can't live up to the standards I hold him to if I'm looking for him to be my everything--to provide my everything. Thankfully, I have a God that is willing to remind me gently that He has and will always provide the love, kindness, and security that I long for and any needs for our family. I see such a good day in store for us.

30 day challenge: day 2

Day one started out great: I loved loving Brandon, and I loved helping with Charlie before I went to work; however, by the end of the day, I had already failed at one of the stipulations of the challenge: not being negative towards B. I can try and justify my reasoning all day long, but in the end, he is my husband.

At times, (probably more than I would ever like to admit) I am terribly hard on him, so today the challenge is all about making life a little easier on him. Here is the verse for today:

Through love serve one another. Galatians 5:13b

I LOVE helping people. Seriously, I get so (abnormally) excited to serve everyone; however, I can't think of a time (in the past few months) that I genuinely wanted to help Brandon do something. Aside from really praying for him the past week, I have done nothing with a servant's heart, so I am excited to see where this day gets me. Maybe, just maybe I'll get out of this little rut!

my rock.

After much prayer and having an overwhelming sense of knowing what God has called me to do, I have come to terms with many things placed before me. This week, I have learned so much about myself, B, and our marriage. God could not have had better timing.

Here is what I learned about myself:

• I am prideful--I do not give up an argument until I feel as though I have "won", I do not give my life over to God until I truly feel like I have failed, and I do not do failure well.
• I am small--My problems are miniscule, yet I blow them up to be huge; I have realized and fully acknowledged that me just loving God is enough, and He has full control over everything else.
• I am impatient--If things do not happen the way I would like them to, I get so upset; If I feel that God has placed something on my heart, I immediately expect it to be on B's as well; I am not patient in God's answers to my prayers.

Brandon was strategically placed in my life by God himself. He teaches me patience. He teaches me to pray about things before I jump head first. He teaches me to love. He teaches me that I am never going to be strong enough to handle anything without Jesus.

Marriage is wonderful. I am loved, appreciated, and needed, and I have the opportunity to love, appreciate, and need Brandon every day. Marriage is hard. I constantly get fed up with myself in our marriage.

I have been learning more and more that life without God in the lead is difficult, nearly impossible. I thank Him for His gentle reminders of who is "boss"--who is really in charge of my life. He has led me to my desires, He has been teaching me how to be more understanding, and He has also been showing me how to treat my marriage. All this to say, I have started this 30 Day Challenge. I want to encourage and love Brandon well. I want to share all of the same hopes, dreams, and desires God has placed on each of our hearts--I long to be one flesh and really feel like we are one in the same.

letters.

dear husband, you always know when i am trying to fill a void with something careless and crazy.

dear school, even though i curse you, i am dreading the day we part ways.

dear jt & jay-z, i am coming to your chicago show exactly 5 months from today.

dear brandon lee, you are more than i imagined my husband could be. i am blessed by you every day.

dear drew & ellie, good light is wonderful. thank you for singing such beautiful songs that remind me of jesus, b, and my life in general.

drew holcomb & the neighbors "the wine we drink"

nashty and blog title

Nashville, or "Nashty" as Brandon likes to call it, was fun. Shopping happened... $658 worth of clothes for $200!! Plus B found a suit that was on mega sale, so we got that for him. We also went to The Pharmacy for awesome burgers and super yummy root beer (It's on tap, too!!) If you live near Nashville, and you haven't been there before, I encourage you to go. That place has the art of hamburger making perfected. Seriously.

I also want to talk about how I got my blog title. I have been hooked on City and Colour's song "The Girl" for a good while now, mainly because the husband said it reminds him of me. And at that time, I would have agreed--I was so willing to put my dreams on hold for his dreams, his wants, and his needs. I was the girl in that song. I never asked for fancy things because I didn't want them. God was enough. Brandon was enough. I had all that I need. Somewhere between that moment and now, things have changed so much--I have changed so much. I have become the girl that asks for a new house, more jewelry, more money, etc. I never EVER thought I would be so materialistic. I want to be me. My God is enough. A new job won't provide--He will. More jewelry won't make me happier--He will. A huge house I made up the plans for won't make my life complete--He will. All this to say, I am ready to get back to being "The Girl" my husband married. I desperately desire happiness solely provided by God.

Help me get there? Prayer request for the week: I need to rely on God at all times, not just when I feel like it. (I am certain this is my biggest struggle.)

my life in a nutshell.

Life, lately, has been insane. I am determined that I only ever go to school, work, and then home to sleep, which is absolutely dull and exhausting at the same time. I don't want my life to be a dull one because, well, that's just not what life is about! So, in efforts to fix that, I have my alarm set to wake me up to go to the gym every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday; I am planning out a trip to Europe with B to start saving up for; I am updating my wardrobe :); I am going to make use of any down time I have by doing something new; and I am going to doing something meaningful every single day.

Seriously, guys. New me coming through.

Though none of this will work without the help of Jesus, Brandon, and friends, I know I will be held accountable, which makes all of this fun planning worth it. I want to explore and really love this life that God has given me; not take it for granted.

In other news, B and I are going to Nashville tomorrow to shop til we flipping drop get away. Let me just say, I love some traveling. I mean I LOVE it, so be prepared for some fun stories from our little day trip :)

every now and then, you need a fresh start.

Here is mine.

If you have previously checked out my blog, you have probably noticed that I have deleted all of my previous posts. Well, I have no other excuse than to say I just wanted something new -- I want to take this in another direction.

If you have never heard of this blog or me, for that matter, I really hope you'll stick around to see what comes of this little blog of mine and what God does with my life.

Disclaimer: I must warn you that I will ramble and ramble, but I will (almost) always come back to the point of the post. 

So, like I said, here is my fresh start! God has really been putting it on my heart to just write my feelings, thoughts, goals, what have you, down lately, and I could not be more excited to do that here. Throughout the past year, I have gone through many changes, and I finally feel like I'm becoming my own person again. (HALLELUJAH!)

Background info, you say?? Well, here we go: I started cosmetology school on a whim in August of 2011. Actually, to say it was a "whim" would be lying... I started because I truly felt the Lord calling me to go. Since it had always interested me, I thought 'Why not? He's leading me to something I always wondered about, so it will definitely work out.' Boy, was I wrong! Not about God in that whole situation but about cosmetology being a "perfect" fit for me. (I seriously think God was telling me to be patient, to wait for what He actually wanted -- what I wanted would never amount to what He has in store.) Since school was a bust, I decided to forgo being a hair stylist and go back to TTU, where I had previously attended for two years. To say I am a lost puppy when it comes to schooling would not be far-fetched... I felt hopeless switching back and forth between majors those first two years, so I genuinely thought college had nothing left to offer me; however, I am proud to say that Summer '12 I began taking HEC Housing and Design classes, and I am so hook there's no chance of me stopping (God totally knew this would happen!!) SO, while taking summer classes, Brandon and I got married. (Yes, I am a loon.) And the rest is history, I have been trying to find a balance between wife, student, friend, even Christian.

So, there you have it. You are witnessing me being just me -- finally. I am Whitney : a 21 year-old girl woman who loves baking, crafting, singing, dancing, and drinking coffee, who also happens to be a wife, student, daughter, and friend.

Hope you stick around! :)