my rock.

After much prayer and having an overwhelming sense of knowing what God has called me to do, I have come to terms with many things placed before me. This week, I have learned so much about myself, B, and our marriage. God could not have had better timing.

Here is what I learned about myself:

• I am prideful--I do not give up an argument until I feel as though I have "won", I do not give my life over to God until I truly feel like I have failed, and I do not do failure well.
• I am small--My problems are miniscule, yet I blow them up to be huge; I have realized and fully acknowledged that me just loving God is enough, and He has full control over everything else.
• I am impatient--If things do not happen the way I would like them to, I get so upset; If I feel that God has placed something on my heart, I immediately expect it to be on B's as well; I am not patient in God's answers to my prayers.

Brandon was strategically placed in my life by God himself. He teaches me patience. He teaches me to pray about things before I jump head first. He teaches me to love. He teaches me that I am never going to be strong enough to handle anything without Jesus.

Marriage is wonderful. I am loved, appreciated, and needed, and I have the opportunity to love, appreciate, and need Brandon every day. Marriage is hard. I constantly get fed up with myself in our marriage.

I have been learning more and more that life without God in the lead is difficult, nearly impossible. I thank Him for His gentle reminders of who is "boss"--who is really in charge of my life. He has led me to my desires, He has been teaching me how to be more understanding, and He has also been showing me how to treat my marriage. All this to say, I have started this 30 Day Challenge. I want to encourage and love Brandon well. I want to share all of the same hopes, dreams, and desires God has placed on each of our hearts--I long to be one flesh and really feel like we are one in the same.